and when's that party?

(six days)
i know her from photographs, in my mind she's a flat image. thats all she'll ever be
the day was dimming. the tears in his eyes were invisible to me...
so i left on an effortless train
hours of talk and the sun heads down
the conversations held by yourself, you sad old man
the bright lights of the city only burn for so long
a woman in her own right, still pushed around

i thought of bland ben, and his
'my dad says thats just the way it is'
and pictured him at the desk still
and again outside park end

then i thought of bernie - in a frog jumper drinking IPA
he could be dead now, and maybe junkie graham too
i thought of mad matt, burnt to a crisp
and skinny patsy proclaiming lambing season
and appleton starting fights
and googles in paranoid drive

remember gerry, his putrid smell
and the boy who dipped crisps in blackcurrent squash.
ray his eyes piercing in apathetic air
perverted eddie, now dead and buried
the man with the sack of drugs waiting
and the red fox at the train station.

ticker tape for my BPM
it beats a little faster
im definitely off the baseline
its just a matter of time

if you want money
you will have money
if you want a house
you will have a house
if you want a car
you will have a car
if you want to die
you will die