all the nobody people

all in mexican wave grass, pushed along by tail wind. self councilling and lonely, i saw a face in the darkness, behind my eyelids. i thought i wasnt asleep.
your body was in the bath, your skin was yellow. i stayed awake hoping it wasnt so, trying not to slip off into the unknown. photographs stapled to my brain, unable to remove the stain. grey lunches, 28 years down the line. escape while you can, go sleep in the bath. take a morning dose, ignore a motormouth, ignore a moron. when the desire overcame me i was unable to get out. pounding heart, sweaty palms, cant take it no more.

after a lttle work im not quithe there yet.. someones on the telophone.. i got all distracted. so much to be done before the 'show'. does anyone care?

everyday after work i walk down a tremendous hill, i can see over the city and a high horizon. i wish i could get my colours to look like that. sometimes i have to take photographs. ive included some for your pleasure.

what's wrong with your face?

i let her down

with 3 uneaten potatoes on 3 trays, how are you all still overweight? in this lunchtime feeding hole i get surrounded by age, empty lives. yeah im a spy, what else can i do? tune into the silent television? i had a filing cabinet moment where i stopped and realised that it was my scene. and i thought of little me, she never would have wanted to end up here. where did she imagine she would be? i think i let her down. we are all still kids, pretending to be grown ups. i spy their awkward converations, man lunches with knives and forks clinking so loudly through the grey. i loathe. and the elderly, well they waited their whole lives to be sickly, they seem to love every minute. dosed up on meds, getting all that attention. see them through to their death. quite affected today.

plonked into multiple melting pots, each day our eyes meet. look away fast of course. " im not sure im following what you are saying anymore", he said. and he was just being honest. thrown into the melting pot, left to boil, like there are so many more appealing options to be bitter about. i checked the other catagories on offer, shuddered at the thought of a 'choice' in the matter. thank the great ones. it can only mean more calories and fewer movements. nice to know there's more trash in the ocean. in the pot you may come across a colourful bunch. here i waste to much time, time is life. life is leaving. englishness. are they all in love with this melting pot? are we all congealed together, grey goo bubbling to the surface, only to be fished out and discarded. as meaningless and pointless as when we first went in..........