i let her down

with 3 uneaten potatoes on 3 trays, how are you all still overweight? in this lunchtime feeding hole i get surrounded by age, empty lives. yeah im a spy, what else can i do? tune into the silent television? i had a filing cabinet moment where i stopped and realised that it was my scene. and i thought of little me, she never would have wanted to end up here. where did she imagine she would be? i think i let her down. we are all still kids, pretending to be grown ups. i spy their awkward converations, man lunches with knives and forks clinking so loudly through the grey. i loathe. and the elderly, well they waited their whole lives to be sickly, they seem to love every minute. dosed up on meds, getting all that attention. see them through to their death. quite affected today.

plonked into multiple melting pots, each day our eyes meet. look away fast of course. " im not sure im following what you are saying anymore", he said. and he was just being honest. thrown into the melting pot, left to boil, like there are so many more appealing options to be bitter about. i checked the other catagories on offer, shuddered at the thought of a 'choice' in the matter. thank the great ones. it can only mean more calories and fewer movements. nice to know there's more trash in the ocean. in the pot you may come across a colourful bunch. here i waste to much time, time is life. life is leaving. englishness. are they all in love with this melting pot? are we all congealed together, grey goo bubbling to the surface, only to be fished out and discarded. as meaningless and pointless as when we first went in..........